"Pharaoh's Quest: The Curse of Amset-Ra" has been Discovered!

By: Andrew Bermudez

(Mustache Maniacs Film Co. Headquarters; April 17, 2020)

     It's finally here! After almost nine years of development, Pharaoh's Quest: The Curse of Amset-Ra has finally been released!

Pharaoh's Quest: The Curse of Amset-Ra has been Released!

     After years of anticipation, this film has finally been released! This adaption of LEGO's Pharaoh's Quest product line scored highly in our 2012 survey, so we're sure that you're all excited for it's triumphant arrival! You can watch the film in its entirety with this link, and get ready for some more excitement related to this film, coming later this month!

Time for Another Canon Update!

     With a flurry of new content now released, we're going in and adding new content to the official canon! Here's what's new:

• Pharaoh's Quest: The Curse of Amset-Ra is entering the canon. The film takes place over multiple time periods, but mostly takes place in 1924. The prologue takes place in 2900 BCE, the Battle of Beersheba takes place in 1917, and the epilogue takes place in 2020.
• The Easter Egg is entering the canon. The film takes place Easter Monday 2020, after a small, socially-distanced Easter Egg hunt. The egg in the film was the one that no one found.
• Slyboots' new backstory is that he was a former prizefighter in Northern Africa until he fell on hard times. To make his ends meet, he dabbled in the Egyptian Black Market for some extra cash. However, after seeing how much more money he could make in dealing rare antiquities, he completely gave up prizefighting and became a powerful force in the Egyptian Black Market.
• Shortly before the events of Pharaoh's Quest: The Curse of Amset-Ra, namely the 1924 events, Jake Raines became the first person to discover the legend of the Heart of Osiris (which Hiram Aziz and Johnny Thunder would then consult in 2010 to actually find the treasure). Jake considered hunting down the Heart of Osiris himself, but after he gets caught up in Archibald's own expedition to stop Amset-Ra, Jake essentially forgets about the treasure.
• The film Space Attack now has context! The space alien in the film is named Xelobor and is the only member of his invasion force. His species is a peaceful one, but after seeing the ruthless tyranny enacted by Hypaxxus-8, Xelobor wanted to also be a feared warrior. With no one willing to join him in his fight, he set his sights on Earth for a one-man invasion. When he does invade, Nana, who was just minding her own business, becomes infuriated by the invasion and beats Xelobor to a pulp. She throws Xelobor up at his ship, destroying both instantly. This kills Xelobor, ending the invasion.
• The Film That Changes Everything! now takes place in 1164 B.C.E. instead of 2108 B.C.E. Since this is the same market stall the Ulysses S. Powell falls asleep behind in A Greater Cost, this old continuity snarl suggested that this one market stall operated unchanged and in business, through Ancient Egypt's old, middle, and new kingdoms, for roughly 1000 years. At least this has been fixed.

As time goes on, more information will be released regarding our cinematic universe, so stay tuned!

Projects Scrapped in Response to Covid-19!
     After our announced re-evaluation of current projects from us, we have made some important decisions. We have not been hit as hard by the on-going pandemic as other studios have, but as we announced last week, we've looked honestly at our active line-up of content and have decided which projects to scrap. Here is the result of our evaluation.

• Our last two active shows, Backstage Showcase and Our Dead Movies, are being cancelled. We have not released any new episodes for these shows in over a year, and while we have new content lined up for both, we have decided that both take valuable time away from more important projects, such as Project U. In these troubling times, it is not good to have two stagnant shows still active. This means that we currently have no active shows.
• After the last three pages of DINO ATTACK: Saga of a Conflict are completed, Crazyhouse Comics will be shuttered, again to streamline production. Just like our shows, Crazyhouse Comics has stagnated, meaning that this cut only makes sense.
• The book Cities that You Must Absolutely, Positively, Stay Out of to Avoid Being Eaten Alive is going to be simplified rather than cancelled, as writing that book is now done. However, the book that has been quietly in development, Project U: The Complete Visual Guide, is being cancelled. Instead, the much-needed book update Mustache Maniacs Film Co.: The Visual Dictionary - 3rd Edition will be released in 2024 for our twentieth anniversary.

While these cancellations are guaranteed, there is still one that is under debate.

Will Covid-19 Claim Johnny Thunder and the Secret of Marco Polo - The Adventure Retold as a Casualty?

     In a surprising twist, Johnny Thunder and the Secret of Marco Polo - The Adventure Retold is now on shaky ground as to whether or not it will go forward. While there is still enthusiasm for this project, everyone does agree that it is going to consume a lot of resources at the studio, especially those that could be put towards Project U. There have been arguments posted for and against this film going forward, which are outlined in these two "Devil's Advocate" memos posted on the studio's private internal network last week.

"Secret of Marco Polo" Remake Will Hurt the Studio Creatively and Financially

In case you haven't heard this past week, LEGO Studios leadership is convening this weekend to determine the future of several projects of ours in response to Covid-19. All of us have been impacted in some way by this pandemic, regardless of who you are. Even if you don't know anyone with the coronavirus, most of us are under quarantine at home, with only the most essential studio personnel staying at least 6 feet apart while at work. We are in no shape to be making costly decisions, and I feel that we are heading down the wrong path with the proposed remake of Johnny Thunder and the Secret of Marco Polo. Now don't get me wrong, I applaud the original film for all that it did for us, especially being our first international release, but I feel that by remaking it, we're falling on a crutch that too many of us have creatively fallen upon recently: nostalgia. I love that we're exploring new stories with Project U, but I feel that remaking Johnny Thunder and the Secret of Marco Polo is going to cost us too much in resources for what is essentially nostalgia-pandering. What's worse, if those that we're targeting are nostalgic for the original film, then making a film that supposed to replace their beloved film may outright cause them to hate us. This is my two cents on the matter, thank you for your consideration. Now, where is that tie-in kit? - Hank, Lead Studio Technician 

 Remaking "Secret of Marco Polo" Is Exactly What We Need Right Now 

By the end of this weekend, I was informed that LEGO Studios management is convening to discuss the future of the controversial remake of Johnny Thunder and the Secret of Marco Polo in light of the Covid-19 pandemic, as many other smaller projects have now been cancelled. I know that this has been a hard time for many of my friends here at the studio, as well as everyone around the world, and because of this, I feel like that we need this remake to happen. I know that it won't be easy to do, with Project U also on-going, but I want this place that I call home to show its fans that they know where they came from and where they want to go, even in these difficult times. While I have seen the script, and it does hit all of the same story beats, it does also give a fresh take on the story. There have been allegations of racism and cultural insensitivity laid against the original, and I'm certain that this remake will win over the doubters while showing our life-long fans that we still remember our heritage. If this remake is indeed cancelled, I have heard that the studio would instead opt for a special edition, with newly-filmed scenes. But if you plan on filming a slew of new footage, why not just re-shoot the entire film? Ultimately, I want this remake to happen, not just for our fans, but for our critics as well. Thank you. Sorry. Have to go. Giselle is sending me a video call. - Frank, Screenplay Department Head

Which side are you on? Let us know in the comments, and we'll have our final decision made public by the end of this weekend.

Lead Out
     Even if everything going on right now, we hope you'll enjoy our latest adventure film!